Why we need to keep an eye out for stories inside our teams and lives.Read More
On the occasion of "Kargil Vijay Diwas", India's military observance of its victory in the 1999 Kargil War, members of the CTQ Writing Compound wrote a short essay based on the prompt "What I've learned from the Indian Army". (In the Writing Compound, we write once a day based on a prompt and interpret from our own varied lenses. While the output may not be entirely polished, it serves as a valuable practice ground for us to get better and consistent at writing. )Read More
There had been a lull for some time since the last time I had written about my Tennis. A book we often recommend is Decisive by Chip and Dan Heath. One of the techniques they talk about while taking decisions for yourself is to answer the question “What would I tell my best friend in this situation?” If you can detach yourself from a situation but also think about it for your best friend, you will care enough. That really increases the chances of taking better decisions. I have been trying to get this balance of dispassionate-ness and ‘caring enough’ in lot of the decisions I have been taking at work and in life.
Coming back to my tennis - I had a feeling that I was just showing up at my tennis class every day and going through whatever was on offer that day – it was not really going through the motions but it felt like that to me because I didn’t have a plan; I felt I was drifting. I decided to take a step back and look at my learning, what could I change and of course, give some rest to my troublesome knee. So I decided to take a break for the month of May.
During my cycling trips every morning, I chanced upon a different tennis academy and decided to play there for a few days to see how it goes. The new place was different in many ways:
- It’s a hard-court. I had played only on clay courts for one year.
- It’s much closer to my house. So I could save a lot in transit time.
- There were three courts as against the four at the previous place.
- There were fewer people who came to play.
I started with some doubts but decided to give the new place a shot anyways. The first week was horrible – I found it difficult to get used to the pace of the court; I was anyways coming off a month-long break. But I slowly got more comfortable. When our kids came back from their vacation, I convinced them to join me at this new place (leaving all their friends from their older class). Around 2 weeks in, I realized the biggest difference – the coach at the new place has given me ‘technical advice’ on exactly 2 occasions in the last 40 odd days. You might recall the equation I had quoted from The Inner Game of Tennis,
Performance = Potential – Interference
In the book, the author talks about how the ‘coaching’ from the coach becomes an interference for the player because she wants to implement what she has been told – extend your arm, check your grip et al. This new coach plays regularly with us; has been coaching for a few decades. So I’m sure he has a lot to say but his philosophy seems to be to let players develop their own style. He has a slightly different approach with the kids but largely the philosophy seems to be the same.
This works very well for me, personally. I can make my plans for what I want to improve every day. Since there are fewer people, I play more sets instead of going through the standard routine drills that everyone was put through. Fewer people as compared to the earlier place also means that there are fewer people whose tennis skill- level will be rated as high. Yet, my level has definitely gone up because I have been able to make the changes I want to and plan for. The biggest difference is that I feel more in control of my tennis journey and I feel happy about it! For an autodidact like me, this is the perfect scenario. I’ll wait to see how it goes for the kids.
So if I had to report back to my best friend, this is how his advice helped –
- Found the new courts when I was out cycling - Increase exposure to new situations, people, to improve chances of serendipity to happen to you
- Took a break – allowed me to do detached reflection
- Tried out the new place – experiment before coming to any conclusions
- Fewer people at the new place – more mind-space and playing-time
- Under-coaching allowing me to do my own thing.
What advice would you give to your best friend?
Our kids started going for tennis coaching last year. I used to look at others and have a comment and an approving look (all to myself) about their technique – all based on more than 30 years of watching tennis on TV. One day when I was watching some of the new students, the coach called me and asked why don’t I join the class? I initially resisted because I couldn’t be taking up something new at the age of 36, could I? I was also worried if I’d be able to control myself if I actually start playing a sport that I have loved for so many years – would my work suffer? But I decided to allow myself to be seduced and I fell for tennis, hook, line and sinker. It became such an integral part of my life that I just had to go to the tennis courts at least for an hour every day – irrespective of the weather, work or a bad knee.
I also started looking at tennis as an experiment in self-learning and deliberate practice. I’d set small targets for myself before going to the class and see if I’d be able to execute my plans. It was now a game within game and my sense of enjoyment actually doubled. I must have missed more targets I have set for myself than met them. The other outdoor sport that I have played with so much passion is cricket. I once practiced alone for 50 days, just trying to get my yorker right. I am capable of such single minded determination and believe that I can crack a complex problem by dividing into small parts that I can ace this way and then it’s just a question of putting it all together.
Unfortunately, I haven’t had a chance to use this approach fully in my tennis practice yet as I end up playing with someone else. Finding a partner who is at the right level has been a challenge – I need the high of beating someone who on his/her day could have beaten me but I also don’t want to battle it out with the more superior players because I theoretically know what I should be doing but clearly, my skill is nowhere near what I’d recommend to a Roger Federer in a blog post (like this). This is very similar to the concept of flow where you have to get the levels of difficulty and the skill just right.
It is fun to introspect on how I play and analyse how I did. Unlike the serve, most other aspects need another player on the other side of the net. I end up losing my rhythm very badly when I end up playing against someone who doesn’t hit it hard enough or plays as if he’s playing table tennis (yes, I had two such players in my batch today!). And once I lose my rhythm, it takes either a week or 30 minutes of practice with the head coach to get back to square 1.
I know I’ll never be playing tennis at the highest level. In fact, looking at the way the sport is played at the junior level (where well-built hunks try to pass off as under-12 participants or a Nike-cap wearing boy calls a shot out on his side simply because he knows there’s no referee around and he can speak in English as against his opponent), I’d not have lasted too long anyways. Yet, seeing some of the older people play at the academy, I feel this could well be the type of physical activity that I could continue till my body allows.
Scott Adams, in his book “How to fail at almost everything and still win big” recommends picking up a daily habit like tennis (where you can see daily improvement) as the key to happiness. Well, the habit’s been picked up. The book also talks about self hypnosis and programming your mind. I did a self-hypnosis bootcamp last year. Now I just need to figure out how not to be reminded of John McEnroe’s joke about Ramesh Krishnan’s 10 kmph serve every time I face a newbie-pretending-to-be-an-expert (like me) and focus only on my game and my game within game. I’ll try to post regularly about my Tennis chronicles – you might be able to use something from here in other pursuits of your life.
Harish is co-founder, Choose To Thinq and Thinq2Win
Pic courtesy: DNAIndia.com
I recently witnessed the Passing Out Parade at the National Defence Academy. It was a long cherished dream of mine to get into NDA and it has always remained one of those regrets in life, though I don’t know if I’d have made it past the interview round or the 3 year course itself. Sitting there, watching the cadets march in unison and remembering some of the stories I had heard from friends in the Army made me reflect upon the efforts that these institutions put into making a Gentleman/Lady and an Officer out of every callow starry-eyed young gun that enters their hallowed precincts. From physical fitness to academic rigour to instilling values to carrying yourself - everything is looked at and the results are there for everyone to see.
And yet, when the base level is already so high, I know someone who exceeds the base level of completeness of an Army officer by a yard or two. He has won a gallantry award for showing unparalleled bravery with scant regard for his own life; is one of the best quizzers and quiz hosts that I know; is an expert on everything to do with a neighbouring country; follows a childhood passion of collecting autographs of celebrities to really epic levels; is a serious philatelist; encourages caricaturists and artistes with special talents all over the country and is also a magician!
What this means is that there is never a dull moment with him. He will always have a story to tell. Just in case he is with kids who don’t yet appreciate his photos with Nobel winners and Heads of state, he can keep them engaged with simple magic tricks, of course, delivered with the style and panache of a P C Sorcar himself! He can be engage with you at whichever level/age you are.
I strongly believe as a member of society, it is one’s responsibility to take every possible step to make the time someone spends with you or the interaction someone has with you to be interesting, enjoyable and valuable for the other person. Of course this is further true if you are an organization. If you exist, you better make the world a more valuable place.
With me, I feel it’s usually my knowledge that makes the interaction valuable for the other person. That’s what reading a lot and retaining it helps me with. I’m trying to increase the hobbies/ interests that I follow so that I learn more and am able to share more insights.
What makes you interesting? How do you make the time your friends, family, colleagues spend with you more valuable? Are you taking any steps to uplevel the conversation?